Celebration of Life

Family and Friends,

Most of you have likely heard that Heather passed away on March 7, finally ending her nearly decade long battle with cancer.  Heather passed away peacefully in our home, surrounded by her entire family.  Myself, and family members, have received an outpouring of support from Carnation Nation, family, friends, and the community. I am so grateful to know that there are so many standing behind us and ready to help when needed. My apologies if I have not responded to your outreach. 

The death of a spouse, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a true friend, and such a bright light brings a great amount of grief, uncertainty, and questions for the future that just possibly cannot be answered.  We all live in an uncertain time right now with this real potential for great sickness sweeping over the world. 

I have envisioned a large celebration of life for our wonderful Heather and will reach out to some of you to to ask for help in completing this vision and bringing it to fruition.  Ideally, the details of this event would already be known and people could begin to make their own arrangements to attend. Sadly, this is not the case.  The state of the world has delayed this important celebration for the near future.  I want all of you to rest assured that we will gather to celebrate the light and beauty of Heather, and I will keep you all informed as things become more reliable. Thank you all so much.

Graciously,

Ian, Azalea, and Eleanor


                         "The place of true healing is a fierce place. It’s a giant place. It’s a place of monstrous                                       beauty and endless dark and glimmering light. And you have to work really, really, really                               hard to get there, but you can do it.”           

                         --Cheryl Strayed

Sadly...

I cannot write like Heather, and there is no way that my voice could ever do this chronicle justice.   Heather is a true wordsmith and for the last 10 years has shared with us her gift of writing and the unique ability to make the science of her disease and treatments understandable; overshadowing the darkness and ultimate mortality of cancer.   

Unfortunately Heather is unable to write any more blog posts.  On December 23rd, we took the whole family to Iowa City for a regular appointment with the the radiologist and to meet a new oncologist to complete the UIHC team. Sadly, we learned that Heather's cancer had spread to her cerebral spinal fluid, manifesting now as leptomeningeal disease; a condition with a very grim prognosis.  

We carried on to Amish country later that day to complete some Christmas shopping, have a family style meal at our favorite Amish restaurant, and bring home a rhubarb pie for our own Christmas.   

Many amazing doctors have helped Heather to live the best life she could this past decade, giving us time to have amazing experiences and make memories as a family so the girls may be able to remember their mother. Amazingly, Heather has been able to create these  memories with all of us for far longer than the statistics would have predicted. 

Currently, she is at home under hospice care and surrounded by family. Headaches that have plagued her for years are now being managed by stronger medication.  She is as comfortable as possible.  Unfortunately short-term memory loss has been progressing quickly and Heather does not have a good ability to create new memories at this point. However, she still has her long-term memory and ability to reminisce, her quick wit, and sense of humor. 

Heather does not have much longer to be here with us, but our family and friends are treasuring each and every moment we have left together. We couldn't possibly ask the powerful carnation nation for anything more, other than to keep our daughters, and Heather's loved ones in your thoughts. 

At this time we are asking for any close friends that might want to visit to coordinate with me. However, cards and letters would be more appreciated and better remembered by Heather.

Thank you for everything you have done for Heather and our family. 

Very Graciously, 

Ian Allen