100 Miles to Nowhere recap

I haven't spent much time on Blogger lately, so when I logged in last night to write a post I was surprised to see that my friend Smithers had written a post about her 100 Miles of Nowhere (MoN) charity event for my family.  Further exploration revealed that there are at least three posts about 100 MoN, complete with photos of EVERY mile that was sponsored by someone.  I had never seen most of these photos before!  I now get to see who showed support and their specific messages!  I am deeply touched.  Follow the links below to read about every moment of 100 MoN.

The blissful morning ride

The inner darkness of the afternoon ride

The ride that never ends

The novelty check at the end

A week-long celebration

My friends.  Oh my, my friends.  How I treasure you.

Bike World, the corporate sponsor of 100 miles to nowhere set up a tent in my yard.  Photo by Kathryn Corones  

 On Saturday, two of my friends rode their bikes 104 miles around and around my block.  They intended to ride 100 miles, but rewarded pledges of $200 or more with an extra mile.  My mom was one of those extra-mile donors, but her donation was electronically received right after the bikes were shed following the 103rd mile.  Woops!  My friends got back on their bikes and dutifully rode one more mile.  And look at those smiles!

The queens of going nowhere (among other achievements):  "Norman" (left) and "Panda"

My dad joined them for a casual 84 miles.  

Nothing casual about this guy.  He proceeded to run a half-marathon on Sunday.  Love you, Irondad!

Several other friends, neighbors, and family also rode for various miles.  Ian and the girls probably logged nearly 10 miles, and I pedaled for a mile or two myself.

photo by Kathryn Corones

It was the most beautiful day.  Panda has some more details about it on her blog.  One of the things she said is true for me, too, and that is, "I feel like I didn't have the mental ability or energy to truly thank everyone that came to support."  I felt that way, too, and I wasn't even biking!  I tend to feel overwhelmed as the frequent recipient of the outpouring of generosity and support.  During 100 miles to nowhere, much like during the Huzzah party in June, I found myself trying to enjoy it a bit anonymously, as if I were attending a festival or event that was for someone else or everyone.  The good thing about the anonymous feeling is that being overwhelmed did not spoil my ability to have fun.  The bad thing is that I did not properly exhibit the humility or gratitude that continues to fill my heart.  I had a wonderful day at 100 miles to nowhere, and I won't soon forget it.  Thank you, friends, for doing this for me and my family.  Also, thank you, Carnation Nation, for being such a large and powerful place.  Thank you for being a part of my life.

Saturday was the beginning of this awesome week that is my celebration of life.  My life, which I happily continue to inhabit.  It has once again been proclaimed by the governor that this week is Inflammatory Breast Cancer (IBC) Awareness week.  I'd like to remind everyone that the signs of IBC are different than other types of breast cancer that commonly present as a lump.  IBC often has NO LUMP.  IBC can turn up as itchiness, redness, or firmness that feels like inflammation, or all of these things.  For more information please see www.eraseibc.org.  When in doubt, rule it out!  (If you'd like to buy our T-shirt that says just that, please email me at 30carnations(at)gmail(dot)com.)

Finally, this week will end with my birthday!  I will be 34 on Friday.  I can't wait.  I have always loved my birthday, but I will be particularly happy to celebrate it this year.  I had several low moments this year when, with a certain amount of bitterness, it crossed my mind that I might not make it to my 34th birthday.  Yet here I am!  With lungs full of oxygen and no more breasts to poison me!  Who knew that 34 would feel so good?  

I hope you all are having an excellent week.  Please help me spread awareness of IBC!

Almost perfect news, and 100 miles to nowhere

Dr. Surgical Oncologist's office called with what she described as "good news" and "almost perfect news" regarding the pathology of my breast cancer.  The good news is that six months of chemotherapy worked as it should; a little bit of ductal carcinoma in situ (DCIS) remained in the breast tissue, but it was no longer invasive.  This means that it wasn't trying to grow out from its location.  The other way that I took this as good news is that the remaining DCIS seems to support my decision to get a mastectomy.  No doctor has said that, but my gut is taking this at further evidence of its trustworthiness.

The almost perfect news is that the pathology confirmed that there was no cancer in my lymph nodes.  The reason this is not fully perfect is that they did find a few cancer cells in the duct on the way to the lymph nodes.  I have no idea what this means.  Was my cancer spitting off cancer cells until the moment it was cut out of me?  Or had these cells split off from the cancer long ago and decided to hang out in this bodily hallway?  But it doesn't matter because the lymph nodes were clear, which is the most important result.

I'll see Dr. Surgical Oncologist on Tuesday when I get my drains removed, and I'll get clarification on the significance of all of the pathology then.  Also, the surgical team is/was to present my case to the Tumor Board (again) today, so it will be interesting to hear what everyone at the institution thinks about my case.  I have my fingers crossed for no plot twists, such as radiation.  I'm ready to close the case, at least for now.

My recovery is continuing in a positive direction.  The only major development is that I have a hot, itchy rash that covers my chest wall surrounding the surgical sites.  I'm not terribly surprised to have a rash, since rashes have been one of the main sidebars of my chemotherapy this time around.  But I am terribly uncomfortable.  I have been taking all sorts of allergy medicines to try to control the rash:  benadryl, zyrtec, zantac, allegra.  The only thing that has been moderately effective is an anti-inflammatory ointment, but it is not a cure.  It prevents the rash from bubbling and oozing (yay!), but it allows it to maintain a hot and itchy state (boo!).  My second tool for getting relief is ice.  I ice the chest wall all day long.

Additional relief came this week in the form of some amazing news.  Two of my dear friends are organizing and riding 100 miles to nowhere, on their bicycles, around my block.  They are doing this on Oct. 18th to raise awareness of inflammatory breast cancer and to raise funds for my daughters.  To read more about their event and to find out how to participate or donate, please check out "Steven's" blog here, or "Norman's" blog here.

The kindnesses, generosity, and support continue to amaze me and fill me with gratitude.  Can't wait to hug you, Steven and Norman.          

Bike date with Nori

Spending time with one of your children without other children is a rare and wonderful occurrence.  It never occurs naturally, so sometimes we just have to schedule it.  My most recent one-on-one time was a bike date with my youngest daughter, Eleanor.  I biked with Nori in tow to a nearby playground.  This playground is novel for her because it's not in walking distance and so we rarely go there.  I suppose it's a "destination" playground.

At first Eleanor asked for her sister, and I thought she might be nervous about ditching Azalea.  But as soon as she realized she was getting special Mommy time, she played intensely without any further mention of her sister.

Eleanor is a lovely, happy, easy-going child, but she has a great stink eye.  It's a scowl so deep that her eyebrows sink to her lips and you fear some great judgment is upon you.  I'm not sure what the stink eye is about in the picture below.  Perhaps it was a premonition that I was going to let her fall out of the swing.  (Only her pride was injured.)

Thankfully, the stink eye didn't last, and we buckled up to find some more fun around town.  Cheese!

We biked down to the river valley.  We decided to pause our bike ride one more time and throw some rocks in the river.  Nori loves to throw rocks into bodies of water and watch the circles grow and grow.  

I helped her choose the rocks.

Ooooo, that tickles

For the second day in a row I biked to work, which is certainly a small victory for me on my recovery road.  I live less than three miles from work and the ride is marvelous.  Over half of it is on a dedicated path.  It was refreshing today when the weather, as opposed to a new ailment, threw me for a loop.  The hottest July since 1955 finally broke when it became August, and with the break in the heat came afternoon rains.  Don't get me wrong, I love afternoon rains, but they bring a dilemma to a cyclist:  to wait it out or tough it out?  It is with great delight I report that today I toughed it out.

Splashing in puddles is good for the soul no matter the age.  Azalea and Eleanor love to don their kitty and cherry galoshes, respectively, and hunt for the best puddles in the neighborhood.  Their affection for splashing is boundless.  Why do I not have a pair of galoshes?  I do not know the answer to this.  Perhaps there is a social convention against adults marching in puddles, so what better way to splash than at heedless speeds on two wheels?

Do you know what rain feels like when it hits your shins?  It tickles; a faint and pleasant sort of tickle.  Biking in the rain is arguably the only time one could ever experience the tickle of rain splashing on shins.  This is not an experience to be missed.

A trademark of biking in the rain is the kick-back of water and grime from the street up and around the rear tire onto your lower back.  I of course have never had a fender, and this particular property of biking in the rain used to drive me crazy in college when I had people to Impress.  I no longer have people to Impress; indeed, today my grime stripe was a badge of honor.  It tickled, it gritted, it clung, and it only existed when this living, breathing human is pedaled her bike through the rain.

I was so incredibly delighted by biking in the rain that I actually laughed out loud while speeding down the biggest hill on my route.  Laughter begets laughter, and this held true even within myself.  I laughed at myself laughing.  I laughed at myself for laughing at myself.  Then I passed a stalled car and laughed at how crazy I must have looked to the driver.  I decided my anti-rain-in-the-eyes squint also would appear like laughter, and that made me laugh even further.  Fortunately I was nearly home so I could pass on the laughter contagion before it snuffed out.

Today was a bona-fide rain storm, not a sprinkle, so you can imagine that I was soaked through when my journey ended.  It was a warm enough August day that I was not cold.  I nonetheless changed my clothes when I got home, otherwise I would not have dried for hours.                         

Carpe diem.