Over halfway done!

Today will be my 8th of 10 whole-brain radiation treatments.  Just two more to go next week! 

I'm holding up very well, I'd say.  My primary complaints are 1) enormous sleepiness, weariness, and a drained feeling all the time, but it's not the same as the bone-crushing fatigue of chemo so I'll take it; 2) headaches, head pressure, and a fullness inside my left ear; 3) nausea, but I can eat through it, and it is related to the headaches.  If I can reduce the headache, with either sleep or extra-strength Tylenol (the best solutions for me so far), the nausea goes away almost completely.   

Yesterday I saw Dr. Radiation Oncologist, and after I gave him this report he said that he thinks it's the brain-protection drug (memantine) that is causing the profound sleepiness (I've started to refer to myself as "clinically weary") rather than the radiation treatment.  He said that basically, he's sedating me, and that once we're done ramping up to the targeted dose I will probably be able to learn how to work with the side effect.  That's hopeful!  Right now it is overwhelming, and sedated is a good word for how I feel.  I seem to sleep all the time!  And when I'm not sleeping, I'm thinking about how badly I want to sleep, and I feel grumpy quite a bit.  It's not cool.  I don't like being grumpy! 

I'm less grumpy when I'm playing games with the kids.  Perhaps it's because the noise is more organized, less cacophony?  So far we've played Blokus, Concept, Candyland, Tsuro, and the card game War, most of which are excellent puzzle games and of not terribly lengthy duration. 

No hair has fallen out yet.  Dr. Rad Onc said it might be another week before that starts to happen, and even when it does it might be a reverse mohawk on my head and not an all-over baldness situation.  Lol!  So I guess I won't just let the kids shave my head for me, as I was planning to do, because I don't want them to shave it off if I'm not going to lose it all.  Here is a link to the last time I lost my hair, and I let the girls help me with a preemptive haircut.  They were so little!!  They still remember doing this and would LOVE another opportunity.  ;) 

My meditation game has gotten weak, guys, I think due to the clinical sleepiness.  And giving in to the sleepiness feels soooo much better than powering through.  Two nurses now, unprompted, have reminded me to listen to my body, with one saying it's okay to just be tired and lay on the couch, so I'm trying to honor their orders.  And I must admit that I feel much better listening to my body than powering through, so thank you to all of my family, friends, and co-workers for enabling my listening and allowing me to quit powering.   

Shout-out to my mom who is here taking care of my family and me, and we are so grateful!  She's been accompanying me to my innumerable appointments, and she has completely taken over my morning-parent duties of breakfast and walk to school.  She has also been preparing most of our meals and keeping up with our groceries and laundry.  Not to mention the family-elf style projects she has independently undertaken, such as putting all of my too-small clothes in storage so that I have room in my drawers for my steroid clothes.  Thank you so much, Mom!!!  I appreciate you!!  Would that I live long enough to return the services someday (although hopefully it's NOT because you have cancer)!! 

Now for some SCIENCE!  I asked Dr. Rad Onc about the pretty blue light that I see during radiation.  He said that I am seeing Cerenkov radiation!  It is light being generated by the secondary electrons produced by the radiation as they pass through the vitreous fluid of the eye at a speed greater than speed of light through the fluid.  Fancy, speedy electrons!!  Ooo I just love electrons.  This website has a nice picture of the exact color that I see, plus an explanation of why it is blue.  It doesn't just happen inside the heads of people undergoing radiation therapy; nuclear reactors that use water also give off a blue glow.  SCIENCE!!!