I cannot write like Heather, and there is no way that my voice could ever do this chronicle justice. Heather is a true wordsmith and for the last 10 years has shared with us her gift of writing and the unique ability to make the science of her disease and treatments understandable; overshadowing the darkness and ultimate mortality of cancer.
Unfortunately Heather is unable to write any more blog posts. On December 23rd, we took the whole family to Iowa City for a regular appointment with the the radiologist and to meet a new oncologist to complete the UIHC team. Sadly, we learned that Heather's cancer had spread to her cerebral spinal fluid, manifesting now as leptomeningeal disease; a condition with a very grim prognosis.
We carried on to Amish country later that day to complete some Christmas shopping, have a family style meal at our favorite Amish restaurant, and bring home a rhubarb pie for our own Christmas.
Many amazing doctors have helped Heather to live the best life she could this past decade, giving us time to have amazing experiences and make memories as a family so the girls may be able to remember their mother. Amazingly, Heather has been able to create these memories with all of us for far longer than the statistics would have predicted.
Currently, she is at home under hospice care and surrounded by family. Headaches that have plagued her for years are now being managed by stronger medication. She is as comfortable as possible. Unfortunately short-term memory loss has been progressing quickly and Heather does not have a good ability to create new memories at this point. However, she still has her long-term memory and ability to reminisce, her quick wit, and sense of humor.
Heather does not have much longer to be here with us, but our family and friends are treasuring each and every moment we have left together. We couldn't possibly ask the powerful carnation nation for anything more, other than to keep our daughters, and Heather's loved ones in your thoughts.
At this time we are asking for any close friends that might want to visit to coordinate with me. However, cards and letters would be more appreciated and better remembered by Heather.
Thank you for everything you have done for Heather and our family.
Very Graciously,
Ian Allen
Mr. Allen your writing is spot on. Love you and our girl.
ReplyDeleteSending Heather, you, and your darlings all the love and warm memories.
ReplyDeleteas a fellow breast cancer patient, i have been following this blog for some time now... i have been checking for updates, hoping that a new post would not be one like this. my heart breaks for you all. heather, your words and stories and wit are thoughtful and hilarious and eye-opening. your candid observations are a breath of fresh air. may you have peace, knowing you have done all you can for your family, and knowing that you have helped and inspired even total randos out here in the internet world. you have lived well.
ReplyDeleteBless you fellow Warrior. When Heather started this blog it was for people like you. The intent was to serve the Breast Cancer Community for research, treatments, and Hope. Her goal was met inspiring people like you. - Heather's sister
Deleteshe was successful! grace and peace to you and your family.
Deletemdog (anonymous)
Heather's Sister here. Thank you for the beautiful sentiment. The cancer treatments are progressing. We have witnessed miracles through new drugs and treatment courses many times. You are brave and your words give the blog more purpose. Thank you <3
DeleteHello there friend! One of Heather's favorite words is "glorious!"...along with "HUZZAH" and "Shenanigans". Her glorious spirit flows through her writing regardless of the adversity she is facing - and I'm glad you found refuge in that. I know that brings her joy. God bless you.
Deletehello! i wish heather, and each of you, the most glorious shenanigans, forever and ever. huzzah indeed.
DeleteThank you Ian. It's been a strange, wonderful, awful, journey. Thank you for all you do and have done.
ReplyDeleteIt's difficult to hear this news. Heather has loved and been Loved by many in her life. My thoughts are with you, your girls and Heather.
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ReplyDeletei just moved my comment under the one I was responding to*
ReplyDeleteLove you guys, Heather is a truly amazing and inspiring person, and I am grateful to be privileged enough to call her a sister. The way she has battled for the last decade has been truly nothing short of amazing. Her wit and charm is unmatched and her ever positive attitude in life is awe inspiring. Even now given all she has been thru her upbeat happy personality still shines thru. It goes without saying that your family is in our thoughts. May Heather enjoy her last days with us here on earth like she has enjoyed her many days before, surrounded by loved ones, and forever grateful. Love you sis!
ReplyDeleteHi there, my name is Ed Topp, I’m a research scientist with the Canadian equivalent of USDA-ARS, and a colleague of Heather. I’ve had the great pleasure of knowing Heather for many years as a brilliant, dynamic, charismatic young scientist. Heather’s work has had a profound international impact in an important field for both agriculture and for public health. Her good humour and congeniality were always a delight to be around. One of the things I do is coordinate our national research program on antibiotic resistance and agriculture, and we were honoured that Heather accepted to be on our Science Advisory Board, providing us insightful critical advice. Those of us who had the good fortune to work with Heather professionally have the deepest respect for her as a scientist, and as a wonderful person. Wishing your family the best at this difficult time.
ReplyDeleteHi Ed! Heather's light shines far and wide and I'm so glad it reached you. Thank you for your kind words and friendship to my daughter.
DeleteEd, I wanted to let you know that Heather and I had the chance to gather and discuss your comment and it meant a lot to her. Science is a wonderful thing in the families and relationships it creates and Heather thinks of you so fondly. -Adina Howe
DeleteThank you for the update Ian, sending you and the ladies and all the Asmans/Allens good wishes. The comments are also heartening. What a gift Heather is to so many people.
ReplyDeleteDear Heather, dear Ian,
ReplyDeleteBoth of you have shown all of us what true love looks like. You've both continued to love, and laugh, and have joy & hope throughout the worst of days and lowest of news. Heather, you've danced, travelled, laughed, played, cried and shown your daughters an example of a life lived to its fullest in every way, through every feeling. What a smart woman to give them such skills and hopes to take them forward into their own futures, such a legacy! Their memories of an amazing down to earth mom, an honored & overachieving scientist, and as Ian will attest to, a fabulous wife will be with them forever. You are so loved by all! Kristi
I just saw this today.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is heavy.
Cancer is a demon.
I will tell my girls tomorrow. Cards will be on their way very soon
Heather, my heart breaks for all of us left behind who will miss you, as equally as it rejoices for the beautiful spark of light you brought into the world through your presence. Thank you for your vulnerability and humor and hopeful messages through your candid blog. I will cherish our healing sessions and time together of deep sharing. Your light will always shine in my heart. Thank you for blessing my life.
ReplyDeleteHi Deb - Your were a big part of Heather's life too! Thank you for continuing to shine her light into the world. What a gift she is to us all.
DeleteHeather, Ian, Azalea and Eleanor~ You have all been a beautiful example of how to handle life's challenges with grace and love. I am so grateful that I was introduced to your family through the Meeker community. Heather's light will always shine on through her wonderful daughters. Your inspiring family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
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My heart breaks for your family. I was diagnosed last May with IBC and found this blog shortly after while looking desperately for stories and advice from those who have fought this terrifying diagnosis. I probably read 70% of her journey in one night. It was her words, her humor, her strength that gave me the courage I so desperately needed. She showed me that it was ok to laugh, to love, to be scared but most of all to keep living. I use her as an example when the fear of recurrence comes up between my husband and I and that if it does return, I too can continue to fight. I have gone back time and again to re-read her experiences in preperation for my next steps (from chemo to mastectomy to currently radiation). I cannot express how much of an impact her journey has had on me and my own journey. If her intent was to help or encourage others like her, she has succeeded probably more than she will ever know. Thank you Heather and thank you to her family for sharing her with us. I may be a complete stranger but she will never be forgotten by me.
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DeleteHi friend - I'm sorry for your diagnosis but thankful you have found strength in Heather's blog. You can do the hard stuff! Heather showed us the power of positive thinking and how to face adversity in eye and refuse to swallow the tempting pill of bitterness. Her blog was important to her healing - allowing her to share information and feelings one time rather than over and over and over. She was also wise beyond her years and no doubt knew that others affected by cancer would benefit from her writing. Since her youth she has had a passion and gift for writing. It's up to all of us now to continue to let her light shine. I hope you have a glorious day today and tomorrow. Or as Heather would say - HUZZAH!
DeleteMy heart is heavy for you, Heather, and your family. You are a brilliant mind, great scientist and one of the most optimistic people I have ever met. I don't think I ever saw you without a smile. May you be surrounded by peace and love in the ensuing days. Huzzah! You will be missed.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more and appreciate your kind words Kellie!
DeleteSweet Heather. When I saw a post by Rodney, I knew your time was near. I had a long talk with God today. I told him how great you are - a wonderful daughter, wife, mother, niece, cousin and friend to so many. An inspiration to all who know you and just such a gift to us all. And while no one can argue it's just too soon for you to leave and you should have more time -- I had to take time to thank Him. You were in uncharted territory long ago surpassing the odds of this horrible type of breast cancer. You had great medical care to be sure, but undoubtedly you positive attitude and approach to your illness brought about precious extra time for you to be with your beautiful family and for us to all be amazed by you. Thank you for sharing your journey. You are in great hands as your family takes care of you and loves you through it all. You are a true treasure, Heather. I wish you nothing but peace. Much love to you and your beautiful family. <3
ReplyDeleteJane - Our family appreciates your friendship and love. Thank you for this beautiful post.
DeleteDear Heather and to Heather's beautiful family - I just wanted you to know that over the years I have crossed paths with a number of women who had breast cancer. I referred them all to Heather's amazing blog. Three of them kept in contact with me about it. Two were ladies dealing with the disease, and they were so inspired by Heather, and amazed by her ability to translate complicated science in layman's terms, use humor to lighten the heaviness of the disease and her unselfish ability to encourage others with all of it. They were encouraged, to be sure. But the person who most often asked about Heather, and seemed to have received the most encouragement and knowledge from her posts, was the husband of one of the ladies who had breast cancer. To my knowledge none of these three ever commented on the posts. But I just wanted all of you to know that Heather helped many many more people than any of us could likely imagine. She was truly an exceptional human being, and we are all so sad that her time with us in this uncertain world was so short. I send you all my love and most sincere sympathy.
ReplyDeleteI come back here two years after her passing and this just warms my heart on such a lost day. Thank you so very much for sharing. Heather was and always will be such an inspiration. Love to you and your friends.
DeleteThank you so much this would make Heather smile.
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