Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I feel fancy

I'll save you a speed-reading skim by saying that I don't have any results yet.  However, the pathologist came into the room during the procedure and took the samples right away.  She and the radiologist think we'll have results this afternoon.

I wanted to let you all know that the spine biopsy is over and I am back in my room.  It is normally an outpatient procedure, but Dr. Oncologist wants me to eat a meal here before she sends me home.  Easiest thing I've done all day, to be sure.

I also wanted to tell you that the spine biopsy was no problemo.  I'm rockin' the morphine et al. and was awake the whole time.  I'm super with it, I just feel about 2-beers drunk and a little bit fancy.  I want to document this experience on the blog because I might not remember it in the future (thank you, morphine).

I was very brave and kept my nerves under control.  I laid down on a conveyor bed and slid in and out of the CT scanning machine a couple of times so that the radiologist could use the pictures to mark up my back with the exact position of the biopsy.  Then I slid out of the machine but remained on that conveyor bed, on my tummy, for the rest of the procedure (~another 30 minutes, less than 60 total minutes on the conveyor bed).  Dr. Radiologist was excellent:  very professional, very knowledgeable, and excellent bedside manners.  He told me what he was doing before every little thing, and every thing was indeed little:  little 5 mm incision, little 16 mm needle, little pressure while drilling through bone, little pain while aspirating bone marrow.  In addition to my oral goofy drugs, he did use a few levels of local anesthetic.  I would say there was only one time that my pain level raised above 2 (on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being excruciating), and that pain was more surprising than anything.  His nurse was also excellent, and chatting with her and Dr. Rad was very helpful.  They complimented my positive demeanor, and I explained that I have learned how important it is to be patient to be a Patient.  I proceeded to sing the song of the same name from Elmo goes to the Doctor (sorry--not on youtube or google, but you can probably rent the DVD from your public library).  I think that got some chuckles.  The real laughs came, however, when the procedure was complete and he was pulling the needle out of my bone.  He was tugging very, very, hard for a full 30 seconds and simultaneously trying to talk about something.  He started panting as his exertion increased; I told him he didn't have to talk while he was working.  The nurse and tech cracked up.  

OMG, my food is here.   poke tally then I'm out:

"port"  22
right arm 7
tummy  6
left arm  6
left breast  1
superior vena cava 1
T9 vertebral body 1


  1. Wow, I needed that. Great Job H!

  2. I don't know how you do it! Go through all that, keep us laughing and then remembering it after the morphine et al! I can hardly remember what I did last weekend and it's only Tuesday. Rock on sista!

  3. Geez Heather - you are a rock star! I'm glad that you are done with this and coherent. Just to let you know - the sister have had a fabulous day so far. PBJ toast, raisins, cereal and juice - two PBJs for Miss A - tons of raisins for Miss E. Trip to the library, including a few minutes on the kid's computer for Miss A, but she did not like the headphones. Back to GRL's for a walk around the block while the oven preheated, playtime on the swing with lunch cooked, then a yummy lunch. After reading all the books from the library (3) and a talk about what we're going to do this afternoon - Miss E dozed right off, Miss A was quieting down. GRL headed to the next room to work, when a loud wailing from Miss E erupted. A quick dash to the next room found Miss A with eyes squeezed shut - "sleeping"- and Miss E's head and hair soaking wet. After some conversation, it was discovered that Miss A "offered" Miss E a drink of water and it spilled on her. Another story, a song, a dry pillow, and GRL sitting on the couch and they both dozed off swiftly. There day has been fun and exciting, but not as magical or harrowing as yours. See you after nap . . .

  4. Next time I post - I'm going to re-read to catch all the errors in my text. Sorry - hope you get the gist.

  5. Sooooo funny!!!
    Both Heather and that rascally Azalea.
    I love you guys to bits.

  6. You're hilarious. And you're pretty brave, too.


  7. You did it! It's over and on to the next thing. What a wonder woman you are! I want more cool patients like you. I have had some sing along with our music but no Elmo Yet! Can't wait to see you. Even through this you light up everyone's life Miss Jetson!

  8. Heather...only you! I'm feeling a little jealous because I didn't get some of the morphine et al. today. I need it it. I had 23 2nd graders that were squirrelly, distracted, unresponsive, and kicking each other in the private parts. Morphine might have helped. My body, brain, fingers, toes, and anything else that moves is praying, thinking, dreaming, etc. that you got hurt and it's healing. I love your mother-in-law's post. I can just see the two little darlings taking naps with the water, etc. Your darlings. This is it!!!! Good news!

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  10. The Queen of Carnations dances in the dark, to the rhythm of the silent symphony. Her beauty illuminates the world with an eternal radiance.

    She is our light.

  11. Wow....Not many people can be funny when they are feeling great and you manage to pull it off during icky procedures!!! Hats off to you for being so brave and entertaining at the same time. Ok now it's time for God's magic trick and POOF! your cancer is gone, everything's A-OK and no more pokes or procedures!!! Sending positive thoughts and prayers...crossing fingers that it will be a positive result! Love you guys so much!!!!

  12. Nothing but positive vibes from your waaaay-distant cousin & family from our waaaaay distant outpost here on the fruited plains of Nebraska. Okay, well, perhaps not that distant. I mean it's not the Sandhills or anything. I have The Internets here. You get it, though.

    Keep inspiring. Keep singing, Heather Kae.... Lots of love.